AHHHH! Nipples!

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Let’s talk boobs!

More specifically, let’s talk nipples. Women’s nipples. Those dreadfully terrifying things that lurk on the chests of the fairer sex. Unlike men, whose nipples are thankfully innocent, women’s nipples are the stuff of nightmares, with the poor gentlefolk of the world living in fear of attack at any moment.

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But none is more scary that the nursing woman’s nipple. Good god, man, I shudder just to type such filthy words. Non nursing nipples are ok. You know, so long as they are accompanied by a low cut top, car advert, even beer bottle, but add milk and a baby in to the mix and, oh boy, is there going to be trouble.

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The only reprieve is that at least breastfeeding rates are plummeting; reducing the risk of trauma from a hungry baby-induced ‘nip slip’, but there are still women, nee MONSTERS, who choose to use those terrifying patches of flesh to nourish their young.

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And the really sad thing? Some of the women who graced those car adverts, who wore those low cut tops, and brought us the ‘good’ kinds of nipples, some of those women are donning monster nips and choosing to NURSE IN PUBLIC [Insert vomit noise here]

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Just look at these disgusting humans in these photos. We have beautiful images of perfectly acceptable breasts, and then these women go and do the unthinkable of…of…BREASTFEEDING!!!!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Run for the hills…but first, realise how ridiculous this all is. Share it, and help us #NormaliseBreastfeeding #NormalizeBreastfeeding.

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The choice to breastfeed should be made in accordance to the family and child, not because society thinks boobs are ‘yucky’ and Mothers fear abuse and isolation.

As a breastfeeding Mother, I sing the benefits and the joys of nursing my, currently 13 month old, son and really hope that, along with all the other breastfeeding advocates out there, we can stop the bizarre attitude towards the completely normal act of nourishing a child and turn the tables on the tragically low breastfeeding rates.

Who’s with me? 🙂

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