Raising a Rainbow Baby

We didn’t have the best run up to pregnancy; my son was my 5th, and only successful, pregnancy. The term ‘Rainbow Baby’ is certainly one that I hold dear.

‘The rainbow doesn’t erase the damage of the storm, but lights up the world and leads the way to hope and happiness’

These could not be truer words, in my mind.

But after the bump deflates, the stretch marks fade, and the dust settles, what’s it like to actually raise a rainbow baby?

You’ve wished, crossed fingers, cried, begged, pleaded, and prayed, for this child. You swore you’d never lose your patience, let the smile leave your face, spend one second not appreciating your luck that this small person is in your life, but it’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Sleep deprivation
‘Sleepless nights will be opportunities for more cuddles’. They certainly are, but they are also opportunities for screaming, scratching, biting, climbing over your head to steal your pillow…every 2 hours. It’s easy to see why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, and it’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Tantrums
‘I can’t wait for the challenges of motherhood; it will be such a blessing.’ It is, it absolutely is, but don’t underestimate the power of a toddler’s tantrum. Wow, do these kids know what buttons to press. And you might feel guilty for losing your cool, but your gratitude and love is not dependent upon infinite patience. It’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Me Time
‘I will gladly never spend a second alone again if I can have my baby’ Your wish is my command, but, sometimes, you might want to shower, to shop, to have a sh…ort break from parental responsibility. It’s ok to want some time to yourself, and it’s ok to take it. Parenting is hard. It’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Money
‘I can’t imagine anything better to spend my money on than a child’, but do you remember how great shoes were? Gone are the days of frittering away your cash on luxuries for yourself; toys and nappies have taken over your shopping list. Don’t feel bad about missing the days of old. Times were easier, and there were some fun things about life before children. No one will question your love for your child if you sometimes miss the simpler times.
It’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Mess
‘I can’t wait for my floor to be covered in toys, and the washing basket filled with baby clothes’ Yeah, but don’t forget about the carpet that remains un-hoovered, the dishes that pile, unwashed, and the bins that overflow.
Balancing time, and chores, with a small human is tough; sometimes impossible, and something has to give. That something is likely to be the house work, and living in mess may not be the most pleasant experience.
It’s ok to struggle sometimes.

Raising a rainbow baby is EXACTLY the same as raising any other child. Just because you struggled, lost, fought, and prayed for this child, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to find it hard sometimes. It will be the most amazing, rewarding, beautiful, but also the most frustrating, exhausting, and relentless experience of your life. IT’S OK TO STRUGGLE SOMETIMES!

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