‘We have news. We’re super excited to say that…WE’RE PREGNANT!’
*Cue congratulations from friends, family, and Facebook.*
*Cue chuckles at the huge reactions.*
‘Teeheehee, they are falling for it. They all really think we’re pregnant. They are going to flip when we tell them it was a joke. This is so funny.’
…or is it?
To you, it’s a harmless joke – HAPPY APRIL FOOLS’ DAY! But what is it to everyone else?
To the friend entering her 3rd year of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, your pregnancy announcement serves to highlight the ease with which others seem to conceive, thereby adding distance and hurdles to her journey to that bouncing bundle of joy.
To later rescind that announcement as a ‘joke’ makes a mockery of her struggle, her desire, her seemingly hopeless dream.
To the friend miscarrying, she contemplates removing you from her friends list, intimidated by the prospect of watching your pregnancy develop during the time hers was supposed to. ‘Can I handle the reminder of what would have been, should have been? My gender scan, my due date?’. This turmoil will eat her up as she battles between the bitterness and anger she feels, and trying to find a way to be happy for you.
When you later announce your ‘prank’, and go about your day, she will still be dealing with the emotions of those thoughts.
To the friend whose baby was born sleeping, your announcement shows new life being created when he has just experienced life being snatched away. You provide a sobering reminder that life goes on, and is going to do so without his child. You challenge him to find a way to forge ahead and live with the loss he is still struggling to accept.
When you ‘fess up’ to your trick, you send him in to a free fall of repeated grief.
All pregnancy announcements, for these friends, come with challenges, hurt feelings, sadness, and guilt. Challenges of allowing a reminder of the loss in their life. Hurt feelings and sadness of the unrealised dream, the lost potential, the empty space. Guilt of struggling to find happiness for you amongst their grief.
To put them through this as a joke? Do you still think it’s funny?Did you like this post? Why not follow us and get an email when we post something new... Just enter your email address in to the Follow section on the right hand side of this page>>> Thanks, see you again soon 🙂